The journey to inner healing is one of the most profound and transformative paths we can take. For many, the wounds we carry stem from the relationships that shaped us in childhood—particularly with our parents. In this post, we’ll explore the concept of the wounded inner masculine, how it can stem from childhood experiences with a father who lacked strength, courage, or safety, and how we can reclaim and re-integrate a healthy inner masculine to lead a courageous, fulfilling life.
 
The Father Wound: The Source of the Wounded Masculine
The relationship we have with our father, or the father figure in our life, profoundly shapes our sense of inner security and how we connect with the masculine energy within ourselves. Masculine energy is not about gender—it is an archetypal force within everyone that embodies strength, courage, stability, and action.
 
When a father does not exhibit these attributes—whether he is absent, passive, emotionally unavailable, or overly critical—it can leave a deep imprint on the psyche of the child. This “father wound” often leaves us with feelings of:
• Insecurity: A sense that we are not safe in the world or that we must fend for ourselves.
• Lack of Courage: A hesitancy to take risks, stand up for ourselves, or pursue our dreams.
• Distrust of Masculine Energy: Viewing masculine qualities such as leadership, power, or assertiveness as either threatening or weak.
 
This unmet need for a strong, stable masculine figure creates a gap in the development of our own inner masculine, which can manifest in unhealthy ways in adulthood.
 
How the Wounded Masculine Shows Up in Adulthood
Without a healed inner masculine, we often carry the wounds of our childhood into our adult relationships and lives. This can show up as:
1. Aggression or Passive-Aggression:
• When we lack a healthy connection to inner strength, we may overcompensate by being overly aggressive or controlling.
• Alternatively, we may suppress anger and express it in indirect, passive-aggressive ways, fearing confrontation or rejection.
2. Codependency in Relationships:
• If we perceived our father (or partner) as weak or “gutless,” we might step into a role of over-functioning in relationships—fighting to “fix” or “save” them while neglecting our own needs.
• This dynamic often reflects an inner desire to create the safety and courage we never experienced but can lead to frustration, resentment, and burnout.
3. Fear of Standing in Our Power:
• A wounded inner masculine may make us doubt our ability to lead, take decisive action, or advocate for ourselves, leaving us feeling stuck, indecisive, or afraid to take up space in the world.
4. Perfectionism and Overworking:
• We may feel driven to prove ourselves, constantly striving for external validation to compensate for an inner void of self-worth.
 
The Key to Healing: Reclaiming the Inner Child
Healing the wounded masculine begins with reconnecting to the part of us that was hurt—the inner child who longed for safety, strength, and validation. By offering this part of ourselves the love and stability it didn’t receive in childhood, we can begin to re-internalize a healthy inner masculine.
 
Steps to Reclaim the Inner Child and Heal the Inner Masculine:

1. Acknowledge the Wound:
• Reflect on your relationship with your father or male caregivers. Were they absent, emotionally distant, overly critical, or lacking in courage?
• Acknowledge the pain and unmet needs you experienced as a child.

2. Give Your Inner Child the Validation They Needed:
• Visualize your younger self and offer them the strength, love, and safety they craved.
• Affirm: “You are safe. You are strong. You are capable. I will protect and guide you.”

3. Forgive and Release:
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful actions but releasing the emotional charge they hold over you.
• Understand that your father’s shortcomings were likely rooted in his own wounds and limitations.

4. Define Your Own Masculine Energy:
• Ask yourself: What does healthy masculinity mean to me? What qualities do I want to embody (e.g., strength, decisiveness, protection, courage)?
• Begin integrating these qualities into your life through conscious action.

5. Take Responsibility for Your Power:
• Shift from blaming external sources (e.g., your father, partner, or others) to reclaiming your inner power. Recognize that your strength now comes from within.

6. Practice Courageous Action:
• Start small by standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, or taking a step toward a dream.
• Each act of courage strengthens your inner masculine and builds trust in yourself.
 
Re-Internalizing the Healthy Inner Masculine
As we heal the wounded masculine, we cultivate a new relationship with this energy—one that supports and empowers us to live authentically and fearlessly. A healed inner masculine:
• Provides a sense of inner safety, allowing us to trust ourselves and the world.
• Embodies courage and conviction, enabling us to take risks, lead, and pursue our purpose.
• Balances strength with compassion, creating space for both assertiveness and emotional vulnerability.
• Leads with clarity and integrity, standing firmly in truth without needing to dominate or control.
 
Living a Fulfilled and Empowered Life
Healing the inner masculine is not just about reclaiming lost parts of ourselves—it’s about becoming the person we were always meant to be. When we integrate a healthy inner masculine with a nurtured inner child, we step into our truth and power as adults.
 
This allows us to show up in relationships, work, and life with authenticity, courage, and conviction. We no longer need to fight for others to embody strength because we have cultivated it within ourselves. And with this foundation of inner safety and self-trust, we can create a life of fulfillment, purpose, and unshakable resilience.
 
The wounds of the past do not define us, but they offer an invitation to heal and grow. By tending to the inner child and nurturing the inner masculine, we reclaim the strength and courage that were always within us. The journey to wholeness is not always easy, but it is worth every step as we step into the empowered, authentic, and fulfilled life we deserve.

In today’s fast-paced, success-driven world, many of us unknowingly tie our self-worth to external markers—career milestones, relationships, social validation, or even material possessions. While achieving success or being appreciated by others can feel fulfilling, relying solely on these sources to define your worth can lead to an unstable foundation. So, where does authentic self-worth come from, and how can we replenish it when it feels depleted?
 


The Trap of External Validation
Our culture often encourages us to believe that accomplishments and approval from others determine our value. While recognition and achievement can boost confidence temporarily, they can also create a harmful cycle:
• Career Achievements: Measuring your self-worth by your job title, promotions, or income often results in burnout. Success becomes a moving target—once you reach one goal, the next looms ahead, leaving you perpetually unsatisfied.
• Relationships: Seeking worth through others’ love, approval, or attention can make your sense of self fragile. If their opinions change, or if a relationship ends, you may feel unworthy or inadequate.
• Social Validation: In the age of likes and follows, it’s easy to confuse external attention with inner value. However, this attention is fleeting, and chasing it can erode authenticity.
 
When we anchor our worth in these impermanent sources, we hand over control of our self-esteem to forces outside ourselves.

For much of my own journey, my self-worth was tied to my work and achievements. When everything went well, I felt validated and proud. But when my team didn’t perform at the level I expected, and stakeholders expressed dissatisfaction, it hit me hard. I wasn’t just frustrated about the work—it felt personal, as though their performance reflected on my value. My sense of worth wavered, depending on outcomes I couldn’t entirely control.
 
Similarly, many of the clients I’ve worked with have struggled with deriving their worth from external sources, especially relationships. They’ve found themselves in people-pleasing cycles, often diminishing their light to keep a partner happy or maintain harmony. For others, family was their anchor of worth, and when the family dynamics broke down—through a separation or divorce—they were left shattered, chasing or manupilating a spouse who was trying to leave. Their sense of worthiness crumbled because it was tied so tightly to external circumstances.

These experiences reveal a vital truth: when we place our self-worth in the hands of achievements, relationships, or others’ opinions, we risk losing ourselves.
 
The Trap of External Validation
 
Tying your worth to work, relationships, or family might seem natural—it’s what we’ve been conditioned to do. But here’s the danger:
• Work and Achievement: If your self-worth is tethered to professional success, setbacks can feel like personal failures. For me, this created a roller-coaster of emotions—highs when things went well, but crushing lows when they didn’t.

• Relationships: Clients I’ve worked with have often tried to earn their worth by putting others first, losing themselves in the process. In codependent relationships, they sacrificed their own needs to keep the peace or win love.

• Family Ties: Some have placed their value in being the glue holding a family together. When that glue dissolves, they’ve felt crushed as though they no longer matter. 
 
These external sources are fleeting and unpredictable. Building your sense of worth on them is like constructing a house on shifting sand—it’s bound to collapse.
 
The good news? Self-worth doesn’t come from what you do or who approves of you—it comes from within. Here are steps to realign your sense of worth:
 
1. Shift from Control to Acceptance
I’ve personally learned that I can’t control my staff, stakeholders, or external outcomes. But I can control how I show up—with integrity, effort, and resilience. Recognise what’s in my hands and release what isn’t.
 
2. Celebrate Who You Are, Not Just What You Do

Your worth isn’t your job title or how well you perform. It’s your unique qualities—your kindness, creativity, humor, your capacity to learn, or feel compassion. Start seeing and celebrating those parts of yourself and deriving your self of worth from internal resources that are infinite in supply. 
 
3. Set Boundaries in Relationships 
For individuals stuck in people-pleasing or codependency, you can work on setting clear boundaries. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re unworthy; it means you value yourself enough to protect your energy.
 
4. Cultivate Inner Validation

Instead of chasing external praise, take time to acknowledge your growth. Did you handle a situation with grace? Did you honor your values today? Build the habit of self-affirmation.
 
5. Reconnect with Your Inner Self

Through journaling, meditation, or even quiet reflection, you can rediscover the part of you that isn’t tied to titles or relationships. This inner self—the real you—is where lasting self-worth resides.
 
​Building a New Foundation

Breaking free from external validation takes time. For me, it meant detaching my self-worth from how my staff performed and focusing instead on the intention and effort I brought to the table. For my clients, it has meant reclaiming their light, setting boundaries, and building lives where their worth isn’t dependent on another’s love or approval.
 
Self-worth is like a wellspring—it flows from within. When you anchor it to something as unshakable as your own values, integrity, and humanity, you’ll find that no external setback can ever truly diminish your worth.
 
You are whole. You are enough. And you are worthy—always.

​In the complexities of adulthood, filled with responsibilities, deadlines, and a myriad of societal expectations, there lies a powerful, often overlooked source of creativity and potential: the childlike essence within us. This inner child, with its boundless innocence, curiosity and playfulness, holds the key to unlocking a profound art of manifestation. By reconnecting with this pure state of our being, we can transform our reality in ways that are both magical and deeply fulfilling.
 
The Power of Innocence
 
Children view the world with untainted eyes. Their perception is unclouded by past disappointments or the skepticism that often accompanies adult life. This innocence allows them to dream without limits and believe in the impossible. When we tap into this childlike innocence, we open ourselves to infinite possibilities. This state of mind is crucial for effective manifestation because it aligns with the fundamental principle that our beliefs shape our reality. To believe is to conceive, and children believe with all their heart.
 
To harness this power, start by stripping away the layers of doubt and fear that have accumulated over the years. Engage in practices that foster a sense of wonder and curiosity. Spend time in nature, engage with art, or simply take a moment to watch the clouds. These activities can help you reconnect with the pure, innocent part of yourself that believes anything is possible.
 
Embracing Playfulness
 
Play is the language of children. It’s through play that they explore, learn, and create. This sense of playfulness is not just frivolity; it is a vital component of the creative process. When we approach life with a playful attitude, we open ourselves to new ideas and solutions that might otherwise remain hidden.
 
Incorporate play into your daily life. This doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities but rather approaching them with a lighter heart. Find joy in the mundane, turn challenges into games, and celebrate small victories. This playful approach can break down mental barriers and stimulate innovative thinking, which is essential for manifesting your desires.
 
The Inner Child and Emotional Healing
 
Our inner child carries not only our sense of wonder but also unresolved emotions and traumas. Healing these wounds is a crucial step in the manifestation process. Emotional blocks can hinder our ability to attract what we desire, as they often perpetuate limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns.
 
Engage in inner child work through practices like journaling, meditation, and therapy. Speak to your inner child with compassion and understanding, acknowledging their feelings and providing the love and reassurance they need. This healing process frees you from the past and allows you to move forward with a heart that is open and ready to receive.
 
Manifestation Through Imagination
 
One of the most potent tools children possess is their imagination. They create entire worlds in their minds, rich with detail and emotion. This imaginative power is a cornerstone of effective manifestation. Visualization, a key technique in manifesting desires, is essentially a structured form of imaginative play.
 
Take time each day to vividly imagine your desired reality. Engage all your senses and emotions in this process, as if you are a child lost in a daydream. Feel the joy, excitement, and gratitude as if your desires have already come to fruition. This practice not only clarifies your goals but also aligns your energy with the vibration of what you seek to attract.
 
Cultivating a Childlike State of Being
 
To maintain a childlike state of being, integrate mindfulness and presence into your daily routine. Children are masters of the present moment, fully immersed in whatever they are doing. By practicing mindfulness, you can cultivate this same sense of presence, which is essential for manifesting your reality. When you are fully present, you are more attuned to opportunities and synchronicities that can guide you towards your goals.
 
Conclusion
 
The art of manifestation is not about forcing the universe to bend to your will but about aligning yourself with the natural flow of abundance and possibility. By reconnecting with the childlike essence within you—embracing innocence, curiosity, playfulness, and the power of imagination—you can transform your reality in profound ways. This state of being unlocks a wellspring of creativity and potential, allowing you to dream bigger, believe more deeply, and manifest more effectively.
 
In the end, the journey of manifestation is a return to your truest authentic self, the self that believes in magic and sees the world as a place of endless wonder. Nurture your inner child, and let their light guide you towards a life filled with joy, creativity, and boundless possibilities.

The lies we tell, constructs our reality. We construct and live the lies because we are consumed by fear and shame from our past. We remain focused on the past, and often consumed by the weight of the lies we have to maintain.
Lies upon lies stacked becomes our lived reality, and we relish in self delusion. On one level, the lies you tell are serving you, but at the core root of self-deception resides our sense of powerlessness. We lie to avoid feeling pain, shame, rejection, and to mask our inadequacies. Yet the pain remains active. We essentially feel powerless, and the lies we hold on to serve as a plaster to our inadequacies and our lack of personal power. 
We are never far from our personal truth, but if we are to be set free from the lies and the perpetual suffering caused by the lies we tell, we have to be willing to pivot our focus. Our cunning nature can never be extinguished, rather it has to be transmuted towards its polar opposite, which is integrity.
Integrity to self thus becomes our central value within this journey we call life. We must however, be prepared to walk away from the shadows of our past if we are to step in to integrity and truth. The constructs of the Self erected by lies, are mere illusions of our former self. We have to be willing to see their temporary and fragile nature. They may have once served us, but no longer are they sustainable. No longer can they remain as our reality. And with intent, and desired focus, we redirect our mental energy towards that which we wish to transform. Truth and integrity are not easy qualities to embody, yet, the only way to transcend suffering personally and collectively, is by you being prepared to walk the path of the less travelled. It is easy to lie to yourself. It is easy to live in delusion, yet it creates much suffering and discord, and diminishes your power and self-worth. It creates misalignment and disharmony. A life constructed on lies, whittle's away your power and dignity, and keeps you fighting and flighting in survival mode. The path forward may seem like barren land, or an empty landscape. The foundations for a new life we seek is not yet formed. Its construction must however begin from somewhere. And thus, it begins with refocusing your sense of mental projections. By becoming aware of your thoughts, you become aware of your desires and fears, and little by little, you will muster the courage to construct a new reality, and lay foundations that rests in self power and integrity. A life that finally liberates you from suffering, delusion, deception and lies.
 
Self Enquiry Practice:

• What are the lies you tell yourself about your life? How, and in what ways do you deceive yourself in your life?  
• How are these lies impacting others in your life? And why have you constructed the lies in your life? focus on the areas that your lies manifest in (love, relationships, friendships, self, partnership, family career/job, community)
• How are the lies you tell yourself and others serving you in your life?
• What fears are driving the lies?  (fear of rejection, fear of failing, fear of feeling inadequate, fear of shame, fear of safety, etc.)
• If you did not have these fears, what would you do differently?
• Are you willing to change your perspective on the continuing with the lies, and are you willing to face and transform your fears head on? If so in what ways? (if you are not willing to change your perspective, go back to and redo the process again)

​

​When all is said and done, we go deep in the depths of our being, to cocoon and re-emerge anew. Breaking out of the cocoon however, is an arduous part of the journey. The shell to breakthrough is taxing. The new environment is unknown, and every part of our being fights to keep us safely nestled and tucked hidden in the cocoon.
What we don’t know however, is that should we choose to succumb to the familiarity of the cocoon, we will sacrifice our life and gradually whittle away.  
There is much destruction that prevails prior to our cocooned state. It is no easy process, for us, nor our loved ones. Yet, when we finally find ourself in the restoration of the cocoon, it feels daunting to re-emerge back in to the world. It requires patience, resilience and compassion. It requires deep surrender to what needs to emerge, and flow in and out of our being. 
The polarisation effect reminds us that pain is a transformative path. Suffering is liberating us from an old wayward life. A life that is no longer in congruence with what is emerging within and through us.
To reach the nectar, we must be willing to undertake the work in order to taste its sweet offering. They say nothing comes in to pass from passivity. Yet surrender is passivity in its highest form. The low road of passivity is procrastination. Succumbing to the tides of emotional disturbances. Swayed by the labyrinth of our mental projections and resistance. We fall prey to the superior ego that rests in our primitive, animal nature. We must, however, be willing to embrace the pain and suffering, so that we may emerge out of the cocoon, and know that what we see and who we are, is the resurrection of our former shadow self. We have arrived, yet the journey to a new sense of identity begins. From the breakthrough, we commence the slow, progressive ascend towards a new version of who we are. We are once more free to express the new version of ourself, yet, we know that there is more ahead in our journey, and with this, we embrace the unknown, the uncertain terrains, and the unknowable, we take a leap of faith and soar, because finally, we are out of the cocoon, liberated, at last.

The fool plans alone tucking away resources for his own miserly endeavours. The wise one plans through service to others and knows that he stands on a mountain of gold, and to stow away wealth without giving onto others will only be detrimental to his own fate. This system of giving and stowing is also witnessed in how nations accumulate wealth through trade. The nations who sit on rich resources bask in their power, but only have resources to trump their balance sheets. They understand their power only from the physical stance. They trade resources to other nations from a position of self centred arrogance, and this power is exhibited in our world stage in categorisation of the rich nations vs the poor nations.
​The entire power structure is relative to the natural resources a nation produces or that which they colonise through war and propaganda, leaving the invaded nations poorer, and tilting the power dynamic in favour of a select few elite nations. The rich nations stand on the shoulders of their fore founders, they stand on the power that they amassed through their land, and the lands of those whom they’ve colonised, past and present. But if all that is taken away, what remains? 
When giving and taking stems on the premise of power, the polarity is that one party will eventually sense its powerlessness. When giving stems on the premise of wisdom, the polarity is that one party will eventually experience its foolishness. We live in a world consumed by duality. We cannot discount this universal truth. Therefore, how we address the polarisation effect of our personal undertaking is all that must reside at the focal point of our intention. We give of ourselves to our communities, through service and the roles we play and fulfil, but the intention that imbues our service and our benevolence is that which returns back to us. A world constructed on the premise of duality requires not only resources, nor wisdom. It requires a deeper understanding that the power we hold is only but temporary, and that the resources we sit upon are also temporary. The actions we undertake today may serve us tomorrow, but they can also cause our fall and demise. Nothing in this plane of existence comes with a stamp of permeance upon it. Not you, nor your treasured resources. Not your actions, your successes, failures, nor even your life. When we marvel at our own sense of impermanence, we can truly feel liberated from all the power plays and struggles that we witness in our own life, and on that of our world political stage. With this, we are freed from having to take sides on who is right and who is wrong. Who is good and who is evil. And we are certainly set freed from our own sense of entitlement, arrogance, fortitude and righteousness. 

When all is said and done, we are confined by the mental schisms that cause our entrapment. We are regressed once more back to our raw animal nature. For most of us, this remains a cyclical undertaking. Trapped in the hell of our own creation, we find ourselves powerless, yet we have willingly stepped in to this zone with the exertion of our own mentalism, words and deeds.
The battles that paved the way to this place have caused much turmoil within our psyche. The battle ground of our mind has been a defeating war zone. We are trapped in the making of our own destiny.
The choice remains as to whether we continue to reside in our nature as the beast, or whether we choose to sublimate from the beast up towards our humanity.
Life has many facets, and often propels us back to our animal nature, where we are once again engulfed in shame and disgust. Disgust towards life and others, where in fact the real sense of disgust we are feeling is towards our own animal nature.
The entrapment is the game of projection. We project on to others what we really avert within ourselves.
The aversions we feel towards others are really a mirror towards our own afflictions. Shame and disgust hold us entrapped. In to the abyss of hell we roam, unwilling to face our truth. Some people choose to stay in this self-created hell most (if not all) of their life. It is most unpleasant, and they carry an aroma of hell where ever they go. For others, the regression back the animal nature is a temporary journey. They choose to see in to their shameful nature, and yet they choose the higher road of sublimating back to their human nature through loving their most shameful parts. They recognise that the shackles that bind them to the ground is merely a construct that is self-enslavement to the belief they are unworthy of a greater destiny. 
Their lack of belief in their own strength and abilities keep them enslaved as the beast. Their mental churnings keep the illusion of entrapment alive. Yet, somewhere within the grasp of their awareness, there is a guiding whisper. The whisper that leads to liberation from the beast, and its transformation through sublimation of the denser energies in to higher means of thinking, being and doing. It is as simple as a thought. The thought thus grows and flourishes in to a seed, that expands and creates form. When we are propelled back in to our beast nature, we can but listen for the whisper. For it is our collaboration with the whisper that allows the shackles of entrapment to dissolve, and enables our journey towards liberation and love to unfold with grace. 
​

The willingness and determination to rise up from the ashes is essentially the hallmark of why we exit on this tough and challenging planet. Adversities come and go, and yet the meaning we assign, and the virtues we master (or not) as a result of the experiences we live, are what remain with us at our Soul level. We carry the virtues we have mastered (or yet to be mastered) from life to life, incarnation to incarnation, body to body. 
The imprints can remain as traumas, deeply scaring our mind, leading us towards living a life founded on fear and survival. Or we can choose to transcend the traumas and integrate the virtues, that enable us to live a life of virtue founded on liberation and self-mastery. The decision of whether we remain a prey to life’s circumstance is ours to make. Rising up from the ashes however bestows upon us a sense of authentic power that is all so expansive and illuminating. We don’t just rise, but we fly. We spread our wings, and we proudly stand upon the ashes that once served as adversities, and claim, that in fact, the adversities served as powerful teachers towards the art of transmutation. Transmuting the pain and suffering in to meaning and purpose is what we humans are here to experience and master. Mastering energy and its transmutation process is essentially what the earth school teaches us. Some repeat the lessons over and over, yet despite its repetition, something wonderful still occurs, the insights penetrate others in meaningful and illuminating ways. When we are willing to rise despite life’s trials and tribulations, life on earth becomes a rich playground for our own and the collective sense of mastery, serving as a potent path to liberation from the illusions encountered in life.